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I am a South-Asian woman, with a dating preference for South-Asian men. Within a few days of actively using Hinge, the only profiles on my Discover page were those of South-Asian men, as if the app had become a matrimonial site for brown folks. On the surface, this is the opposite of a problem. But these new technologies also raise a series of questions: What other snippets of my data are apps like Hinge analyzing?
How are they analyzing it? And how does it show up in the way I interact with the app? In response to some of the ethical dilemmas surrounding the UX of major dating apps today, a new wave of conscious, responsible alternatives are appearing. These apps take a new approach to the design of dating, whether rethinking how an app stores its data, reconsidering the addictive nature of platforms, setting out to keep minorities safe, or reimagining what a spontaneous interaction might look like in digital space.
The question really is: Why are these companies storing data at all? The overarching narrative of romance is one of chance meeting. That narrative disappears in the realm of dating apps, where love and intimacy become codified. Dil Mil , a dating app made exclusively for the global South-Asian diaspora, allows you to pick from a pool of Personality Traits, that are then added as tags to your profile.
A highly curated version of the user is presented on these apps, when, one could argue, true intimacy comes from recognizing and embracing flaws, both in yourself and your partner. The addictive dopamine effect that comes with finding a match explains why users have multiple apps: when you run out of your daily quota swipes on one, simply open another.
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Every 14 February, prices of chocolates and flowers will spike and restaurants tend to be fully booked by couples looking for a romantic date night. In , Match. In and respectively, dating apps Grindr and Scruff were launched. Both apps were commonly used by the gay community which helped connect users — single men within a specific geographic radius. In , now dating app giant, Tinder was introduced to the world and it quickly became one of the most popular dating apps today.
Since then, there have been a plethora of dating apps developed like Bumble, OkCupid, and Paktor.
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The rise of online Asian dating sites has led to many British Asians finding love. DESIblitz reviews some of the most popular dating sites for Desis. Many British Asians now want to find their future partners by themselves as opposed to having an arranged marriage. The idea that you will bump into your dream person in a bar or coffee shop is very rare, and so, people are turning to sites and apps to find love.
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For members of traditional South Asian communities, marriage—in Hindi and Urdu, shaadi —is the single most important event in life. To help unmarried South Asians find a suitable partner, Anupam Mittal, a Mumbai entrepreneur, launched the dating website shaadi. Like Lavalife, match.
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Technology has given us the gift of choice. With apps to manage everything from what type of Thai food we want delivered to which model of car we summon to drive us down the road, the modern world has allowed us to curate our lives to a degree our grandparents would find baffling. So when it comes to sex—where our tastes vary a lot more than they do for take-out or transport—it’s no surprise that a vast global industry has been built around choosing the right mate.
Biting at its heels came other imitators and twists on the same format, like Hinge connects you with friends of friends , Bumble women have to message first , and a multitude of options including choosing people according to the size of their Instagram following, their religion and whether or not they went to private school. These apps were born in the US and quickly spread to Europe, but Asia—with a distinct dating behaviour and a different set of social norms and expectations—needed apps that tapped into local culture.
In China, this kicked off with Tantan, which operates almost identically to Tinder. But it quickly outclassed its American doppelganger by attracting a significantly higher proportion of users in China, particularly outside of mega-hubs like Beijing and Shanghai. Interestingly, Tantan is very vocal about how focused it is on relationships, rather than casual dating. Yu Wang, the founder of Tantan , says he is solving a societal problem brought about by young Chinese people moving to cities for work, often to places where they have no families or strong friendship circles.
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Indonesia and Malaysia lead surge in spending on matchmaking platforms. According to mobile data and analytics company App Annie, would-be lovers in Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore have led the shift to handheld devices. Social dating app Bumble has partnered with the Singapore Tourism Board to offer a service aimed at helping professionals network and make contacts, while the Dating.
And while Tinder led the pack, other newcomers are starting to catch up.
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One user on Reddit posted a photo of the sign with the single-word rejoinder, “Kinda,” and the sixty-something comments that followed teased apart the the moral subtleties of dating within or outside of one’s own ethnicity or race. Reading through the thread feels like opening a Pandora’s Box, the air suddenly alive with questions that are impossible to meaningfully answer.
Dating sites and services tailored to race, religion, and ethnicity are not new, of course. JDate, the matchmaking site for Jewish singles, has been around since If you are ethnically Japanese, looking to meet ethnically Japanese singles, there is JapaneseCupid. Take a small half turn in the wrong direction, and there are dark places on the Internet like WASP Love, a website tagged with terms like “trump dating,” “alt-right,” “confederate,” and “white nationalism.
As if to underscore just how contradictory a belief in an Asian-American monolith is, South Asians are glaringly absent from the app’s branding and advertisements, despite the fact that, well, they’re Asian, too. I met the app’s publicist, a beautiful Korean-American woman from California, for a coffee, earlier this year. As we chatted about the app, she let me poke around her personal profile, which she had created recently after going through a breakup.